¢1 CUK = $131,415,932 USD

Price as of [loading].

Finally, a secure digital currency just for globalist cucks.

Do you believe that all people should be treated equally? Do you believe we can improve the world through empathy and empiricism? That fair and transparent government should exist?

Then according to alt-right Twitter users, you're a cuck.
And this is the cryptocurrency for you.

Like Bitcoin, but with the stability of Canada.

Unlike Bitcoin, which has changed price by ±$3,000 since you started reading this sentence, cuckbucks are designed to be perfectly stable. How? The value of one cuckbuck is tethered to exactly one billion Canadian dollars.

This bulletproof system makes cuckbucks the most stable way to destroy your life trying to acquire fake internet money.

Learn More Mining FAQ

The Technology

Cuckbucks is a cryptocurrency, like Bitcoin, which is that confusing crap they occasionally talk about on NPR.

Here's how cryptocurrencies work:

*In this step, "money" means "not money".

Cuckbucks uses an even newer and harder-to-understand technology than Bitcoin – the same unproven technology that's behind Bytecoin and Monero.

¢64,556 CUK


$50,190,179,246,511 USD

Market Cap

Handmade, Homegrown, Community-Owned

There's nothing like the satisfaction of growing your own tomatoes to feed your family. Your own hemp to clothe them. Your own weed to soothe their glaucoma.

Now you can grow your own money too.

Every cuckbuck is locally grown, gluten-free, and can be used in fair trade around the world.

Central Banking Gets a Spanking

Remember how Bernie Sanders said something or other about how banks are bad? What he meant was that he envisioned a completely deregulated shadow financial system that's difficult to use and understand.

Also, if there's no central banking you don't have to pay taxes. The IRS isn't smart enough to use computers, and they're well known for giving up easily on tax evasion.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I get my hands on some cuckbucks?

You can mine cuckbucks by overheating your computer, or you can exchange real money for them from someone who already has some.

Where can I exchange real money for cuckbucks?

I have no idea.

What is the smallest fraction of a cuckbuck called?

The minimum unit of a cuckbuck (¢0.000000000001 CUK) is called a quinoa.

The current value of a quinoa is $0.001 USD.

How are cuckbucks cryptographically tethered to Canadian dollars?

Exchanges buying or selling cuckbucks at a different price will recieve a cryptographically signed notice of censure.

What's $1 USD in cuckbucks?

At the current exchange rate, $1 USD is equal to ¢0.0000000001287 CUK, if you can get somebody to exchange it.

That also works out to 0 quinoa, which may be more useful in day-to-day life.

What genius created cuckbucks?

Cuckbucks were created by the reclusive Satoshi Nakamoto.

Isn't cuck a sex thing?

Words are fungible.

Is cuckbucks a beta?

That's good. We'll use that.

Are cuckbucks a coin? A currency? A token? A security?

Important question! They are whatever they need to be to avoid burdensome government regulation. Whatever the SEC can regulate, they are something else.

I am not a leftist, can I still use cuckbucks?

Yes, but they are worth half as much.

Were any cuckbucks pre-mined?

No! All cucks earned their bucks.

Is there a limit to how many cuckbucks can be mined?

Yes, approximately 18 million.

If each cuckbuck that could ever be mined was the size of a penny and you laid all the pennies out next to each other how long would the line be?

A little over twice as long as the world's longest tunnel.

The Thirlmere Aqueduct?


When, not if, all the cuckbucks are mined, what will be the total value of them all?

Easy. $N USD.

Isn't that an impractically large amount of money?

I do not give a shit.

I'm sorry, do you understand economics?

Do you?

Using Cuckbucks

If you've ever experienced the pain of using cash, a credit card, or an app to make a purchase, you'll be amazed how much easier cryptocurrency can be:

Installing the Cuckbucks Software

This software will let you synchronize your computer with the cuckchain. It'll also let you create your purse to store your cuckbucks. There's also a mining program so your computer can toil away creating cuckbucks.

Creating a Purse

Reopening Your Purse